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The Second Half

Apr 30, 2008
I suppose I might as well liveblog the last half of the game, very likely the Suns’ last half of the season. Barkley is surely correct about going to Diaw in the post taking the Suns out of their offense, and also surely correct about Stoudemire fading when he doesn’t get enough shots. What is to be done? I would like to see them attack in the second half in the zany style we remember from yesteryear.

Some Excuses

Apr 26, 2008
The first game was a cosmic fluke. Duncan misses that shot 95 times out of 100, perhaps more. Grant Hill’s been injured. Nash had the flu, and looked as if he were sick, hurt, or just old last night. The NBA has a strong interest in seeing big-market teams like San Antonio and Detroit make the finals, for Q-scores and advertising. It hasn’t been as much of a blowout as it seems, in all fairness.

The Trade

Feb 7, 2008
I’m reeling after the Suns’ stupendous loss to what should be, theoretically, my new hometown team. The extraordinarily homeric Hornets announcers failed to mention during the game that the Suns were playing without Shawn Marion, who, to paraphrase Gregg Popovich, is a big part of we what do here. You may have heard that Marion was traded to Miami (along with someone named Marcus Banks) for Shaquille O’Neal, the most ruinous basketball player of his generation.

Intent to Liveblog

Dec 20, 2007
I’m going to try something a little different and liveblog the Suns-Mavs game tonight. The Suns are my team, which I suppose dates from the spring of Nash’s first season with them (in particular, the playoff series against the Mavs that year, which was very enjoyable on any number of levels). Nash and I have much in common: we’re about the same age; we both, ahem, excel at our chosen profession; Nash reads Marx and Engels, and I usually play point guard in a pick-up game (more like Eddie House, however, with less compunction about shooting); there are shirtless pictures of both of us on my wife’s computer (Nash in a whirlpool for the NYT Magazine, Goodwin covered in fish guts–guess which one’s the desktop background?

From Seven Seconds or Less

May 18, 2007
Jack McCallum’s book about the Suns: “Amare, you’re starting on [Jason] Collins,” says Iavaroni. “What’s he known for?” Iavaroni likes to use the Socratic Method from time to time. It is not always successful. “Rebounds. Blocks shots,” says Stoudemire, who plucked a few words from the air. They could’ve just as easily been “eats buffalo wings, drives car.” (190) It’s a good book. I knew the Suns were going to lose game five, and I had to stop watching it, it was so painful.

I Use The Book of Ephraim As An Oracle

Nov 7, 2006
Will Adam Morrison average more than 15 pts. a game this season? Had left heredity, Narcissus bent Above the gene pool. As at a thrown stick Still waking echoes of that give-and-take —Repercussions dire in the event— I would interpret that as a yes, though with perhaps historically low rebound and assist figures. Who are other players who tend to score a lot and do nothing else?

What Can Happen in the NBA Playoffs

May 22, 2006
Whatever happens, it will be set to Tom Petty, the ideal musical sponsor of the National Basketball Association. We may also get to view the charming VW commercial about egocasting cars. (Should I remind you of the list of exceptions to my categorical opposition to torture? Maybe later. But no death is too slow for the ad team responsible here.) I doubt I will watch a game of the East Conference Finals, as it promises to be excruciating.

Nowitzki Throws Stackhouse under Bus

May 14, 2006
Phenomenal post-game interview there. I’m paraphrasing: “The guy’s been in the league for ten years, so I figured he’d know you had to hit the rim to keep the clock running.” “I was wondering what in the hell he was thinking.” I wonder what he’d have had to say if Horry had somehow hit that last shot.

Reflections on the Playoffs

Apr 29, 2006
I don’t root for professional basketball teams out of some mere locality. North Carolina, during most of the time I lived there, did not have a pro team; and, while I detested Michael Jordan and UNC when I was very young, I gradually became a Bulls fan during his career. Aesthetically, perhaps, the Bulls were not the best team during the entirety of their championship era; but they certainly kicked the hell out of New York, Utah, and Miami in terms of watchability.

My Expert First-Round NBA Playoff Predictions

Apr 24, 2006
I know that we’re nearly two days in. East Pistons over Bucks in four. I haven’t watched a Bucks game all year, including today’s. Pacers over Nets in six. This one seems easy. The Pacers are a playoff team. They are always much deeper than they appear. Stojakovich is good for at least ten points and two rebounds per game. That’s every night. That kind of steady production is going to be too much for the Nets to overcome.


Mar 26, 2006
I’m back from my first-ever Four Cs in Chicago, and I wanted to let the sporting world know that I would have bet unlimited amounts of money on UCLA at halftime of the Gonzaga game. Despite being down by fifteen or however many it was, I was certain that there were going to come back and win, though I was a bit startled by how close it actually was. I’d like to see Morrison coming off the bench for Phoenix next year, though I don’t think that’s likely; and I’m not sure how successful he’s going to be otherwise.

Spurs in 6

Jun 9, 2005
Most of the world watched in horror as the Spurs finally managed to bludgeon a depleted Suns team to death in the Western Conference finals (the entire Eastern Conference playoffs were unwatchable–with the notable exception of a few games in the Bulls-Wizards series). Rarely in sports have you seen such a triumph of pure evil over pure good, but there it was. Most observers are geared for something as painful as the Spurs-Nets series , and they are fully justified.

My Expert NBA Playoff Predictions

Apr 23, 2005
I will not be predicting the second round, nor am I going to predict how long the series will last. Eastern Conference Nets v. Heat: On TNT one night, Charles Barkley said, with a completely straight face, that you could look at Vince Carter and tell that he didn’t lift weights. WINNER: Heat, but just barely. Sixers v. Pistons: Ever since April of 1993, I’ve been a big fan of Chris Webber.


Feb 1, 2005
Last night, the announcer for the Hawks game declared that they had a great offensive half, scoring 39 points on 43% shooting, with only seven turnovers.

Qualification of a Popular Comparison

Jan 22, 2005
Several folks have commented that the Manu Ginobli’s dunk in overtime last night in the Suns game over Stoudemire and Marion was positively Goodwinian. While not disputing the essence of this claim, I should remind everyone that his dunk a) occurred during a game and b) was executed on a 10-ft. rim. I should also add that not only did that dunk end the game, it also ended the Suns’ entire season.

The Wisdom of Phil Jackson

Jan 5, 2005
I read his The Last Season in a chain retailer yesterday. Early on, and I didn’t note the citation, but early on he notes that Detroit was not a very good team. Granted, this was before they acquired Rasheed Wallace, but I wonder if his ghostwriter or his editor might have caught that. Similarly, he at one point says that Kareem Rush was, after Kobe, the best athlete on the team.

Umm, Skip

Dec 22, 2004
I once delivered a pizza to the house Michael Jordan grew up in. It was most certainly not in “the tough side of Wilmington, North Carolina.” Furthermore, even passing familiarity with Jordan’s biography would be enough for you to know that he had a comfortable middle-class upbringing. His dad worked at GE. And “Jordan was the most selfish gunner in NBA history.” What? Have you ever heard of George Gervin? Bob McAdoo?