From the Onion

Mon Sep 10, 2007

“Coming in at an exhausting 7,000 years long, music is weighed down by a few too many mid- tempo tunes, most notably ‘Liebestr√§ume No. 3 in A flat’ by Franz Liszt and ‘Closing Time’ by ‘90s alt-rock group Semisonic,” Schreiber wrote. “In the end, though music can be brilliant at times, the whole medium comes off as derivative of Pavement.”

That reminds me that I’ve been mulling over “The secondary stumbles because the cadence of the count has led them astray; pray their intuition leads them crashing into bodies in a perfect way.” The detached, tonally inappropriate description of football figures in several of their songs. A refutation of Massenpsychologie? (Last night, I was asking Clancy which VH1 show would have horrified Adorno the most: The Pick-Up Artist or Rock of Love? It’s not an easy question. Adorno, you may remember, glossed increasing cartoon violence as a message to workers to take their own abuse smiling, and I’m sure that he could have found ample f-type leanings in the cheap mesmerism and utopic Svengalitistics of the latter. All thoughts welcome, etc.)